I can't make you love me
by illustriousopaline
Summary: [1] Just one single word. A name that does not belong to him. He loved Eiji but Eiji only loved him as a friend. [2] Eiji… can’t you tell how I feel about you? Is our friendship all you feel?
1. I can't make you love me

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing  
**Warnings:** OCC-ness and pairing hints  
**A/N: **Thosethat arein quotation and italics are the lyrics to Bonnie Raitt's "I can't make you love me". I just wanted to give writing something sad a try, but I don't think I have achieve that yet. :(  
I'm not sure if this is a little messy for you guys, but this is my usual writing style. Current-flashback-flashback-current. Did I manage to confuse you more? (Xx')

* * *

"_Turn down the lights;  
__Turn down the bed.  
__Turn down these voices  
__Inside my head."_

The moonlight shone through the window, bathing a couple on the bed in the soft light and casting everything else in shadows.

Listening to the silent breathing, Fuji propped his head on his right hand, left hand caressing the sleeping face of his partner. His sapphire eyes observed every line and curves, lingering upon the soft kissable lips. A warm light glowed in his heart, embracing him and replaced his practiced smile with a real one.

"Eiji…"

Kissing him lightly on the forehead, Fuji settled back gently, his eyes never leaving the face of someone he loved till sleep finally claimed him.

"_Lay down with me;  
__Tell me no lies.  
__Just hold me close;  
__Don't patronize."_

Blue eyes looked up at him, surprised. Who would not be, when your best friend suddenly kissed your cheek for no reason at all? Fuji had tried very hard to keep his feelings under control. Although he was a tensai in mind games, it did not mean that he was one in heart games. Even though he did fare quite well in that department, but this person in front of him ranked higher. Eiji was capable of letting people feel emotions.

Without thinking and just letting his heart guide him, Fuji kissed Eiji.

"_'Cuz I can't make you love me  
__If you don't.  
__You can't make your heart feel  
__Something it won't"_

Fuji, worried about what Eiji might think, just giggled a little, hoping Eiji would think that it was just one of his pranksTo his relief, Eiji smiled in reply. That was when he invited Eiji for a sleepover.

(Eiji's POV)

A soft kiss brushed my cheek when I was packing my dirty tennis clothes into my bag. Surprised, I look up… at Fuji. My heart raced and I could feel the heat rushing up to my face. My best friend just kissed me.

My mind went blank and all I could do was to gape at him, till a giggle reached my ears. Ahh, he was just joking…besides, a kiss on the cheek does not mean anything right? I remembered Oishi told me something about kissing. A kiss on the cheek signifies friendship. Yes, just friendship.

Relief flooded through me, so much that I even smiled. One could really not tell what Fuji is up to next. True to that, he suddenly invited me over for a sleepover.

(End of POV)

"Hoi! I love sleepovers! Besides, you're going to help me with the English essay!" Swinging an arm over Fuji's shoulders, he chattered on brightly while heading towards his house to pick up some clothes. Feeling a slight shiver, Eiji glanced at Fuji. The tensai just looked back and smiled. Eiji dismissed the shiver.

Fuji was kind of glad that Eiji did not think too much of the kiss, on the other hand, he was also a little disappointed. When Eiji had his arm around his shoulder, Fuji could not help but shiver a little from the touch. _Silly, Eiji is affectionate. He does that to everyone. _

"_Here in the dark  
__In these final hours,  
__I will lay down my heart  
__And I'll feel the power;_

_But you won't."_

Fuji woke up with a start, he glanced at his clock. Its red digits shone 4.29 AM. The skies were still dark and all was silent except a slight whimpering at his side. He reached out and stroked those shiny red locks, making soothing sounds. Poor Eiji was having a nightmare. A light smile grazed Fuji's pale lips, no matter what the circumstances, Eiji still managed to look so adorable. Fuji leaned nearer, breathing in Eiji's smell, and nearer till his face was just an inch above the sleeping boy's. Throwing caution into the winds, Fuji moved his face even closer, his lips was just above a breath away. That was when Fuji's heart shattered.

"_I'll close my eyes,  
__Then I won't see  
__The love you don't feel  
__When you're holding me."_

His vision blurred and limbs trembled as he walked shakily to the bathroom. His breath came short and fast. His heart… seemed to have stopped functioning. He wanted to scream, but he dare not. He bit his lips to choke back his cries, clenched his fists so hard that his nails dug into his palms. Just one single word, a name. A name that did not belong to him.

"_Morning will come,  
__And I'll do what's right;  
__Just give me till then  
__To give up this fight."_

He stood in the shower, numb. Letting the water caressed him, his tears came and got washed away. He just stood there, thinking.

He loved Eiji but Eiji only loved him as a friend. Eiji loved someone else. The bitter memory of Eiji whispering the name in his sleep filled Fuji's mind, and emptiness was all Fuji felt then. If Eiji really loved that person… Fuji wanted Eiji to be happy.

_"And I will give up this fight."_

Fuji would just give his blessings to Eiji

and Oishi.

-Owari-

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Please review ne? Hmmm, maybe you could think that this story happened before my other story "The Love that we shared" (featuring GP). 


	2. What I really meant to say

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing  
**Warnings:** Maybe slight OCC-ness and pairing hints  
**A/N: **Those in quotation and italics are the lyrics to Cyndi Thomson's "What I really meant to say" One of my all-time favourite song.  
Again, this might be confusing for some...muahahaha.Can't focus on the Golden Pair all the time right? Since this is about Fuji and Eiji and has/had some influence over the GP story, I put this piece together with "I can't make you love me"..Those in italics are either thoughts or words that are emphasized.

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"_It took my by surprise  
When I saw you standing there  
Close enough to touch  
Breathing the same air"_

I chose a spot under the trees, a distance away from _your_ tree, and eyed my bento. All my appetite for it was gone when I caught a glimpse of you sharing _your_ lunch with your partner.

It has been days since our last sleepover. You have been so distant with me… it makes me wonder… have I made the wrong decision? That I have given my blessings to the two of you? That I have advised Oishi on what to do when you were down? That I have just smiled and listened to you talking about Oishi when my heart is breaking inside?

Eiji… can't you tell how I feel about you? Is our friendship all you feel?

"_You asked me how I'd been  
I guess that's when I smiled  
And said, "just fine."  
Oh but baby I was lying"  
_

'Poke'

"Fuuuji! Are you listening to me at all? Mou, you are being so dazed these days nyah! Maybe I should ask Inui to brew Aozu for you…and we will force it down your throat. Keke!"

Eiji hugged himself in glee as he pictured his friend fainting again. It was not because Eiji was a mean selfish brat, he just needed his best friend's attention, and _he_ was definitely in his own world, leaving Eiji to talk to the air!

Eiji glanced at Fuji with concern; it was not like Fuji to be so silent after such a declaration. His smile seemed a little worn and there was a slight blackish tinge below his closed eyes, Fuji seemed even paler than usual.

Alarmed, Eiji thought Fuji was ill and keeping it a secret from them. He placed an arm around his best friend and peered closer at Fuji.

"Ne Fuji… are you well?"

"_What I really meant to say  
Is I'm dying here inside  
And I miss you more each day"  
_

_He isdefinitely ill, his breathing has gotten harsher and faster, a feverish red tinge is blossoming all over his face nyah…_

_Fuji… I'm sorry I have been neglecting you recently, but I thought you could take care of yourself. I wished you wouldn't keep your illness to yourself. Let's go to the doctor ne?_

Fuji's mind was hazy, he could not think straight. He thought he had heard Eiji talking to him but Eiji was just looking at him with those alluring eyes. He frowned slightly, a little uncomfortable under Eiji's closeness and his intense gaze. He knew Eiji would be able to see through his mask and oceans of lies should he be allowed to observe longer.

Fuji heaved a sigh, not quite willing to step away from Eiji's warm one-armed embrace.

"_There's not a night I haven't cried  
And baby here's the truth  
I'm still in love with you  
That's what I really meant to say"  
_

"I'm all right…" _Even though I'm hurting inside._

"There's no need to rush to the doctor…" _It's an illness that no doctor could heal._

"I just need some more sleep…" _Even if I have to cry myself to sleep and when I have finally closed my eyes, images of you still flashed by._

"Maybe we could stop by the department store today…I need to buy a better pillow…" _Because all the pillows are wet from my tears._

I know you are scrutinizing me, trying to determine whether I'm lying. I know you are still concerned about me, and I'm glad I still have a place in your heart – even though it's a smaller portion, but still…I'm glad.

"Maa…maa, stop worrying like Oishi, will you? We could stop by at the ice cream stall after we purchase my pillow."

I watched your smile widen and somehow, my heart lightened and did not seem to hurt as much. Maybe I did make the right decision after all.


End file.
